It's what we've been all waiting for. Obama finally turns up the heat in this just released searing cross-examination of John McCain's recent erratic behavior and Sarah Palin's VP qualifications.
Scene: The Gertrude C. Ford Center, Friday night. Senator McCain shakes hands with Senator Obama without looking at him.
McCain: (through clenched teeth to Obama during the applause) "What I do want is for you to stand there in that faggoty white uniform impeccable designer suit and with your Harvard mouth extend me some fucking courtesy."
An hour into the debate:
McCain: Take caution in your tone, Senator. I'm a fair guy, but this fucking campaign is making me absolutely crazy.
Obama: Senator did you order the Hail Mary?
McCain: I run my campaign how I run my campaign. You want to investigate me, roll the dice and take your chances. I eat breakfast 300 yards from 4000 Cubans journalists who are trained to kill smear me, so don't think for one second that you can come down here, flash a smile, and make me nervous.
Obama: Senator, Steve Schmidt ordered the Hail Mary because that’s what you told him to do.
FOX Noise: Object!
WSJ: Sustained.
Obama: And when it went bad, when Governor Palin was incoherent in front of Katie Couric...
FOX Noise: Dammit Obama!
Obama: ...You suspended your campaign to cover it up. You'll cut her loose this week before she can go before Joe Biden!
FOX Noise: Consider yourself in Contempt of the Republican Party!
Obama: Senator did you order the Hail Mary?
McCain: You want answers?
Obama: I think we’re entitled.
McCain: You want answers?!
Obama: I want the truth!
McCain: I can’t handle the truth!
Boy Son, we live in a world that has walls, walls that were torn down by great men like Ronald Reagan. And the remains of those walls have to be guarded by men with guns. Whose gonna do it? You? I have a greater responsibility than you could possibly fathom. I have to try to make something out of what's left of conservative ideology. And my existence, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you and your elitist friends, can be pretty damn entertaining. You don't want the truth because deep down inside when you gather at your celebrity cocktail parties, you want me lying, you need me lying. We use words like honor, code, loyalty surge, nucular, doctrine. We use them as the backbone of a life trying to defend something. You use them as a punchline. I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to a black man who rises and sleeps under the blanket of the very freedom that the GOP has provided, and then questions if the manner is constitutional or not. I would rather you just said thank you, and went on your way. The press wants to question Sarah Palin, thinks I took a gamble, thinks she isn’t fit for the job. Either way, I don't give a damn what they think they’re entitled to!
Obama: Did you order the Hail Mary?
McCain: I did the job I...
Obama: Did you order the campaign suspended in order to cover up Sarah Palin's interview?
McCain: You’re Goddamned right I did!
A hush falls over the Gertrude C. Ford Center.
Lehrer: Senator Obama?
Obama: I motion that we proceed directly to the November 4th election.
McCain: What the hell is this? I'm gonna get on a plane and go on back to my campaign.
FOX Noise: Did you hear that, the campaign is on again!
Obama: John, you like to pretend like the war started in 2007. You talk about the surge. The war started in 2003, and at the time when the war started, you said it was going to be quick and easy. You said we knew where the weapons of mass destruction were. You were wrong.
McCain: (lunging at Obama) ...I'm gonna rip the eyeballs out of your head and piss in your dead skull! You fucked with the wrong former POW!
Obama: You said that we were going to be greeted as liberators. You were wrong. You said that there was no history of violence between Shia and Sunni. And you were wrong.
McCain: You fuckin' people... you have no idea how to defend a nation. All you wanna do is weaken the country, Barrack Hussein Obama. That's all you wanna do. You put people's lives in danger. Sweet dreams, son.
Obama: I'm a lawyer and a Senator in the United States Congress. And you're going to lose on November 4, you son of a bitch.
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Just thought we could use some levity in case our 401k's are vaporized.
Note: The seed for this diary originally was published in Open Thread on Friday night. I started it before Maureen Dowd's attempt was published. This is the final (I mean it) edited version.